


Anxiety Is Basically Batman

by maxthetransguy



Series: Anx is Basically B@man [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety is sassy, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Relationship Problems, Secrets, We love superheroes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-28
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2020-07-23 13:27:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20009035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maxthetransguy/pseuds/maxthetransguy
Summary: Virgil is the well-known Super Villain Anxiety. Only, he fights the corrupt and those who hurt others. But that stupid hero, The Prince keeps getting in his way.Edit: I am writing a sequel called Party Crashers where they have the party.





	Anxiety Is Basically Batman

**Author's Note:**

> I had an idea and wrote it in less than a day. Not beta'd so please don't hate.

**Virgil**

My phone buzzes with a text from my boyfriend, Roman Sanchez.

_ Ro: Working late tonight my darling. I’ll try to be home as soon as possible. _

_ V: got it. be safe xx _

I silence my phone and pocket it before slipping into my costume. I hated it at first; the mask felt suffocating, and the leather trench coat is tacky. Now I love it. It feels like home. I am Anxiety. I am the most feared Super Villain in the country, and damn, doesn’t that feel amazing. It helps that I have powers. I can turn invisible, control shadows, and telekinesis is rad. It helps that I’m a pretty good mechanic too. Though Villain is a stupid claim. I hurt those who deserve it. And I try not to kill. Though casualties are unavoidable sometimes with that stupid hero who constantly tries to stop me. The Prince. With super strength and flight, as well as flawless figure, he’s a narcissistic pain in the ass. Though our fights are pretty epic.

I’m glad Roman is working late tonight. His theater is on the other side of the city then the bank I’m robbing. Cliche, huh. Robbing a bank. This bank is run by corrupt businessmen who constantly steal from and swindle their clients. If all goes well, they’ll be exposed and broke. I sent several big news stations and papers evidence of their crime, and I’ll be taking their money. And I’ve already hacked into their system and managed to grab a copy of every client they’ve swindled or are swindling.

I turn invisible and head to the bank. And just my luck, I spot the Prince lurking near the entrance of the bank. So someone tipped him off. Fuck. I ignore him, heading into the bank. He must have forgotten I can turn invisible. Idiot. He knows about the shadows and invisibility, but not the telekinesis. And he doesn’t even know the extent of my shadow powers. Small parlor tricks have all I’ve shown him so far.

First up, I place packs of thermals on each of the major pillars holding up the roof. Once I empty the vault below, I’ll place a detonator there. I’m headed to the vault, when I hear him.

“Anxiety, stop what you are doing fiend! Show yourself!” the Prince yells.

I roll my eyes and let myself become visible. “Heya Princey,” I say drily. “Can we wait to fight until after I rob the vault? A lot of hurt victims want their money back.”

Princey pauses and stares at me for a moment. “What are you talking about?”

“Your brain is only able to handle thinking of quips and banter, isn’t it? This bank is run by criminals. And yeah, I am aware I’m also a criminal, but I never hurt the innocent. Run along now, before someone gets hurt.”

“You just said you don’t hurt the innocent, then immediately threaten me?” Princey says.

“You aren’t innocent, Princey.”

He gasps in horror. “How DARE you!”

“Neither of us are innocent. Our battles have casualties,” I say solemnly.

“That is not my fault!”

I grow dark, rage fuelling my veins. “It isn’t? If you had just let me punish people who deserve to be punished but get away with it because they have pockets filled with riches and corrupt politicians, no one would have to die. I’m not putting all the blame on you. I have my faults and blame too, but don’t you dare say this is only on me. Because I didn’t ask for these powers. And sorry that I use them to ruin the lives of those who ruin others.”

“So you’re the only one who can ruin lives?”

“No. I know one day, I won’t fight anymore. I’ll probably kill myself instead,” I grunt.

The Prince gasps again. “You’ll resort to suicide?”

I chuckle drily. “My job is to get rid of scum, including myself. Anyways. Can we stop having this stirring, emotional conversation and just do what I came here to do?”

“I will stop you, Anxiety,” Princey growls.

I laugh. “Gotta catch me first.”

I quickly turn invisible and head towards the stairs, heading down to the vault, quickly and easily destroying the lock with a tool I invented. As soon as the vault door opens, I become visible and call some drones to collect the money. The last drone is leaving just as Princey finds me again. He doesn’t even say anything, just punches me hard. I feel ribs crack. The impact knocks me off my feet, causing my back to slam against the wall a few feet behind me. My keys fall out of my pocket which I had yet to resecure after sending the last drone back to my lab.

Princey picks them up, tense and angry. “What are these?” he snarls.

I can’t let him have the keys to my and Ro’s apartment.

“Some asshole I mugged on my way. I thought it might be fun to loot his apartment,” I sneer.

“Give me everything you took from him.” The look on his face is scaring me. “Give me what you stole from Virgil!”

My breath hitches. No. The Prince knows me? Not Anxiety me, but me, me?

“Oh? You know the dumb bitch I stole from?” I tease. “Interesting.”

I don’t even have time to react before his heavy boot hits the side of my face.

“Give me what you took,” he snarls.

“Fuck you, Princey,” I hiss.

If I want to get out of this, I need to give him my wallet and my phone. I fish them out of my pocket.

“Good. Give them here,” Princey demands.

“Fetch, doggie,” I snap, chucking them to the other side of the room.

He immediately turns to grab them and I turn invisible and sneak out. Outside the bank, I hold the remote in my hand, nervously. If I hadn’t found out I know this person, I wouldn’t hesitate blowing the bank up. Princey has super strength. And if that didn’t save him, well, my job would be easier. But I can’t hurt someone I know. When Princey stumbles out, I hold my breath and detonate the bomb. The bank explodes behind him and he lets out a startled gasp, staggering away from the fire.

I slip away into the night. Right now, I know the Prince is either Roman, Logan, Patton. Logan is smarter than the Prince, Patton is too kind to hurt anyone, which leaves Roman. Jesus fucking Christ. My boyfriend is my arch enemy.

At home, I turn visible, get a drone to hide my costume, then curl up on the front porch and cry. A hand touches my shoulder, and I shriek, yanking away. Roman’s concerned face watches me.

“Virgil! You’re face! What happened?” Roman asks, horrified.

“It hurts,” I whimper. Not a lie. My face is throbbing and I bet I have at least two broken ribs.

“Let’s get inside and I’ll call Logan. He can fix you up,” Roman soothes. He gently picks me up, and I whine a little as the pain shoots through my body.

“I’m scared,” I mumble into his chest.

“I’m here. You’ll be okay.”

Roman gently places me on the couch and calls Logan.

“I-It was that stupid villain, Anxiety,” I mutter when Roman hangs up. “I recognized that tacky outfit. He stole my shit.”

Roman hesitates. “I know. The Prince… is me. I’m the Prince. I was fighting the bastard and your keys fell out of your pocket. He admitted to hurting you and I made him give me your stuff.”   
Roman hands me my keys, phone, and wallet.

I stare at him. Then I shove him. Then I cry out in pain as my ribs act up.

“FUCK THAT HURT!” I shout. Then I glare at Roman. “You surprise me by being a clueless moron  _ ALL _ of the time! You put yourself in danger on a REGULAR basis?!”

“Virgil, darling please. I want to protect people,” Roman pleads.

“What about me, Ro?” I whimper. I know I’m playing dirty, but I can’t hurt Princey knowing it’s Roman and I need him out of the way.

“I’m doing this for you!” Roman cries.

“Look at me!”

“It was Anxiety who did that to you!”

I want to scream that it was him. But he can’t know. “I wouldn’t have even been out if you weren’t working late,” I mutter. I pause. “You weren’t working late at all, were you? You were fighting him!”

“Virgil!”

“I can’t do this! I can’t do this if you’re always out in danger! I can’t sit by knowing you could get hurt!” I yell. Technically true.

“Are you… breaking up with me?” Roman gasps.

“I don’t know. Maybe? I don’t want to, Ro. But if you constantly do this Prince thing…. I can’t do this,” I mutter.

Please, Roman, take the bait. Don’t leave me, just stop being the Prince.

“You are so selfish, Virgil!”

“I’m the selfish one for wanting the man I love to be safe? Wow okay. Fine,” I huff, the pain very real.

The doorbell rings. Roman looks at me with a dark expression, then answers the door. He returns a few moments later with Logan.

“Virgil, are you alright? You look… less than stellar,” Logan mentions.

“Eh. I’m fine. Just fix me up, doc,” I say.

Logan gets to work.

“You appear to have three fractured ribs, and possibly a mild concussion. Drink lots of water, get some sleep, and stay in bed for a few days to let your body heal,” Logan instructs.

“L, can I stay with you for a few nights?” I ask quietly.

“What!” Roman cries in shock.

Logan glares at Roman. “What happened?”

“I got mugged, then Roman decided to be an idiot,” I say. “I need to get out of here.”

Logan nods. “Do you need help getting to the car?”

“I’ll be fine,” I reply. “Go ahead. I’ll catch up in a moment.”

I wait for Logan to leave before standing shakily and turning back to Roman.

“Virgil, please let’s talk about this,” Roman begs.

“I mean, you said I was selfish, so let’s keep the trend going and say no. Talk to me when you stop being an asshole. You know where to find me,  _ YOUR MAJESTY, _ ” I sneer.

Then I limp out. Logan helps me into the car. As we drive, I know he’s refraining from asking about it.

“We had a fight. I can’t tell you why unless Roman is okay with it, but I was upset and he called me selfish for being worried about him,” I finally say.

“Roman always has been a little… slow,” Logan replies.

“A little slow is putting it nicely,” I retort with a weak smile.

Logan chuckles and nods as we drive to his apartment.

It’s two days before he shows up at Logan’s. I’m lying down on the couch when Logan walks in, Roman in tow.

“I shall leave you two alone,” Logan says briskly.

He walks to his room, closing the door behind him.

“What do you want?” I ask.

“I’m sorry, Virgil. I love you,” Roman whispers.

“An apology and ‘I love you’ won’t fix this,” I mumble.

“I wasn’t at the bank to stop Anxiety. I didn’t know he would be there,” Roman says softly.

“What? You were at the explosion?!” I play dumb. “WHY WOULD YOU…! ROMAN!”

“I’m sorry. You know how Joan works at the stupid news station? They thought I should check out the claims being made. I didn’t mean to be there when Anxiety was. But I left the bank and as soon as I walked out it blew up. It scared me, V. And I shouldn’t have called you selfish. You were only worried about me. And you have every right to be. I screwed up. It was terrifying. I could have died. So I promise. I’ll stop playing hero once I catch Anxiety. I need to hurt him for hurting you. And then, my life is yours.”

“Ro?” I say.

He gets down on one knee and pulls out a small velvet box. I sit up, ignoring the pain that shoots through my chest.

“Virgil, two days apart is far too long. I love you dearly. If you decide to put up with my stupidity, please be mine forever?”

I bite my lip. “I… I really want to, Roman. But there are some things you should know,” I whisper.

“I know you talk in your sleep already,” Roman teases.

“Anxiety didn’t do this,” I blurt. Roman tenses, confusion on his face. I hesitate. “You did, Roman. I  _ am _ Anxiety. I’m sorry.”

“You’re lying. This isn’t funny, Virgil.”

“I told you, Princey. My job is to get rid of scum. I guess it’s my turn now. So hand me over to the cops. You win,” I say, using the voice reserved for villainy.

“You’re a villain. How can you do that?!” Roman yells, standing and throwing the box to the ground. I wince at the depressing metaphor for our relationship. “How can you hurt people like that?”

“Look at me, Roman. I didn’t do this to myself. You did,” I say.

“BECAUSE I THOUGHT YOU HURT… YOU!”

“The broken ribs were before you saw the keys. It doesn’t matter. Just throw me in jail like you wanted. Or kill me. I don’t care anymore,” I mutter resignedly.

“NO! FUCK YOU! YOU DON’T GET TO DO THIS!”

“You said you wanted to hurt me. So go ahead,” I snap.

“You almost killed me with the bank,” Roman growls.

“No. I knew you had to be someone I knew, so I waited for you to get out before detonating the trigger,” I reply. “And then I figured out it was  _ you _ on the way home.”

“So that whole worried about me thing was a scheme to get me out of the way?”

“I didn’t want to fight you! I didn’t want you hurt! I was scared, Roman!”

Patton suddenly bursts in, stopping cold when seeing our faces.

“What’s happening, kiddos?”

“I found out there are too many secrets,” Roman says through gritted teeth.

“Ohhhhh. You found out about his secret identity?”

“YOU KNEW?!” Roman and I yell in unison.

“Kiddo, I know you better than you know yourself. Of course I know you’re Anxiety. And I know Roman is the Prince,” Patton chuckles. “Logan doesn’t, so don’t worry.”

“You knew he is evil, and you didn’t warn me?” Roman snaps.

Patton’s cheerful face grows dark and I shudder at the sight. “My dark strange son is not evil. He might not be doing things nicely, but he never intentionally hurt an innocent. Everyone he targets are mean people. And I don’t approve, but he is not evil, so don’t you dare insinuate that. Now you two stay here until you solve everything. You both love each other very much and I don’t want this heroes and villains nonsense to ruin your relationship.”

Then he turns and walks to Logan’s room.

“Ten bucks says Patton’s telepathic,” I mutter, lying down slowly.

“Good God! I hope not! My mind is too dirty for that innocent puffball!” Roman cries in horror.

I laugh and Roman joins in. Then our eyes meet and he bites his lip and looks away. I grow silent as well. The moment is over.

“We aren’t in need of money. Why did you rob the bank?” Roman asks quietly.

“You should watch the news. Here. Hand me the remote. I DVR’d a segment,” I say.

Roman obeys and I turn it to the recorded news story.

“The super villain known as Anxiety may not be the villain we all thought him to be,” the news reporter says. “Yesterday, multiple news channels received evidence about the First Union Bank’s criminal activity. Then last night, Anxiety robbed and destroyed the bank, but instead of keeping the money, all the victims who the bank stole from have been fully reimbursed and given a little extra as well.”

It cuts to an interview of a young woman with a small child clinging to her leg.

“That bank ruined my life. I was about to lose my home, but Anxiety saved me. I can keep my house and I found a job, and I can finally take care of my son. Anxiety is a hero. And, Anxiety, if you’re watching this, thank you for giving me a second chance and giving my son a better life.”

I turn off the television.

“I didn’t keep any of it,” I say, looking away.

Roman kneels next to the couch, but I don’t look at him. Then he places his hand on my jaw and coaxes me to meet his eyes. Then his lips are on mine, slow and gentle and filled with love.

When he pulls apart, he tells me, “I was wrong.”

I stare at him and pull out my phone and start recording a video.

“I need evidence. Say it again,” I say.

Roman sighs but he’s smiling slightly. “Fine. I said I was wrong. Virgil is smarter than me. There. Happy?” Roman teases.

“Very,” I reply, ending the recording.

“Virgil, I should have listened to you. You were right. I’m too impulsive,” Roman mutters.

“We should retire. Get Joan to interview us. I’m done as Anxiety, but I want you to be done as the Prince too. Just two normal people with normal jobs,” I beg.

“We will never be normal, but we can pretend,” Roman agrees. Then he shoots up. “Fuck! Where did I put the ring?”

I use my telekinesis to float the ring through the air into my hand, “accidentally” hitting Roman in the head with it.

“Oops. This stupid concussion,” I tease.

“You can move things with your mind too? Why didn’t I know that!”

“I can’t let you know all my secrets, Princey,” I reply.

He laughs and takes the box, getting back on one knee. “So, Virgil? Marry me?”

“Of course you dumbass!”

Roman smirks at me and opens the box. I gasp at how perfect the ring is. It’s thin and silver with small amethyst and ruby gemstones. Roman takes it out and gently slides it onto my finger. I stare at it.

“So, Virgil? Do you like it?” Roman asks.

“Shut up, I’m trying to admire my ring!” I yell.

“Virgil, did you mean what you said as Anxiety?” Roman asks quietly, face solemn.

“I usually do, but what are you referring to?” I ask.

He pauses, looking for the words. “That one day your job of ruining the lives of scum will end with you killing yourself?”

I’m frozen. Roman looks so unhappy. But I need to be honest.

“Yes. I’m not a good guy, Roman,” I whisper.

“Please. Don’t. You are so good. And maybe you don't do good things, but you are not bad. So please, Virgil. Stay with me? I never want you to hurt yourself,” Roman pleads.

“I’ll try, Ro,” I murmur. “I love you.”

**Roman**

“Joan! I have two people who wish to be interviewed by you!” I announce.

They sigh. “Yeah?”

“Anxiety and the Prince,” I state, smiling.

Joan sits up and gives me a disbelieving look. “Yeah? And you happen to know them?”

“What I am about to tell you is top secret. It cannot leave this room,” I say quietly.

“Sure, sure. What is it?”

“I’m the Prince,” I say.

“No fucking way. Seriously? Wait wait wait. Holy shit that makes so much sense! So who is Anxiety?!” Joan demands.

“Virgil,” I admit. “Although I only found out.”

Joan yanks out their notebook and pen and opens to a new page. “Okay, so what’s the angle for the interview.”

“We are both retiring,” I say.

They smirk. “Oh wow. Don’t want to fight your boyfriend?”

“Fiancé actually. I proposed yesterday,” I reply with a smile.

Joan looks impressed. “Congrats man. Didn’t think you’d have the balls. How was it?”

I laugh nervously. “Awful, then wonderful. I must admit I became a bit angry and rude when finding out he was Anxiety.”

“Rude? He fucking threw the ring down and started screaming,” Virgil remarks from the kitchen.

“Virgil! Get your ass in here so I can talk to you!” Joan yells.

Virgil carefully sits down next to me with a smirk. He holds out his hand. “Admire peasant,” he commands.

Joan looks at the ring. “Wow. That’s really nice. I like it.”

“Thanks,” Virgil and I say in unison.

I smile at Virgil, and he gives me a kiss on the cheek.

“So, back to the interview. Do you guys want the world to know you are together?” Joan asks.

“Yep. Even engaged. It’ll be quite a plot twist,” Virgil replies.

“Here’s my idea,” I start.

Virgil curls into me as we watch the news.

“And now, we have an interview with the hero and villain themselves, the Prince and Anxiety!” The news anchor says smiling.

It cuts to the video of Joan interviewing us.

“So, you two have some pretty surprising news for us, correct?” Joan asks from off camera.

“A couple of announcements that are quite shocking,” Princey agrees.

“Shocking is a bit of an understatement,” Anxiety remarks.

“After many battles and banter, our banter turned less malicious and more friendly. We came to a point where we did not really want to hurt each other,” Princey says.

“Speak for yourself. I still want to hurt him quite frequently. He’s sort of a massive idiot, like all the time,” Anxiety snarks.

Princey gasps with mock offense, but throws a casual arm around Anxiety’s shoulder.

“So you two are dating?” Joan asks.

“More like engaged,” Princey states grandly.

Anxiety rolls his eyes and holds out his hand for the camera to see.

I glance at Virgil to see him fiddle with his ring, smiling softly. I nudge him fondly.

“This loser asked me and I couldn’t resist making the rest of his life miserable by being his obnoxious, gold-digging trophy wife,” Anxiety says.

“He means to say he couldn’t resist my charm,” Princey corrects with a laugh.

“That too,” Anxiety concedes.

“What will happen when you get married? You do fight quite frequently,” Joan states.

“Yes, we do. And we have decided to make all our arguments have a more domestic sense. Which brings us to our second announcement. We are retiring from the hero business,” Princey proclaims.

“Not that I am a hero,” Anxiety remarks.

“Actually, Anxiety, since you exposed the First Union Bank, many people argue that you fight for the underdog. Many people claim you are a hero, only hurting those who hurt others,” Joan interjects.

“That’s kinda what I was going for, but it doesn’t make me a hero. I still hurt people too,” Anxiety replies solemnly.

“Do you regret helping people by hurting the people who ruined their lives?”

“Obviously not. But still, hero is too… kind for me. I’m an antihero if anything,” Anxiety says.

“You’re like Batman! Dark Knight! The Vigilante!” Princey exclaims.

Anxiety smirks at Princey. “Who are you then? Cat Woman? You furry.”

“I’m done with you,” Princey snaps jokingly.

“Fine, but I’m keeping the ring,” Anxiety retorts.

Then, he leans up and kisses Princey on the cheek. Princey smiles broadly.

“See, he loves me!” Princey says happily.

“I can tell,” Joan replies, and I can practically hear their smile. “So any plans for the wedding?”

“We have only just gotten engaged, so that will be a while off. However, we do have some ideas,” Princey starts. “We shall have a small ceremony and reception with only close friends and family.”

“But we are planning on having a party after the wedding for anyone who wants to come,” Anxiety finishes. “Once we plan some more, expect another announcement with the date, time, and location.”

“And everyone is welcome!” Princey says.

“Except corrupt businessmen and women, and politicians,” Anxiety adds quickly.

Princey laughs.

“Quite a turn of events. Well, thanks to both of you for your time. And, Anxiety, thank you for fighting for those who can’t fight for themselves,” Joan finishes.

It cuts back to the newsroom. “There you have it, folks. Our well known villain and hero are retiring and soon to be married. Anxiety and Prince, thank you both for all you have done,” the anchor finishes.

I turn to Virgil. “That was fantastic! You Not Sweet, But Sour Chicken.”

“You calling me a coward, Princey?” Virgil teases.

“Maybe,” I tease back.

“If I wasn’t still recovering, I’d kick your ass,” Virgil grumbles.

“You wound me, Virgil,” I exclaim.

“No butt kicking! And watch your language!” Patton scolds from the armchair.

“Why was I not informed that you two are vigilantes? I have many questions. Do you two actually have powers? Or do you utilize machines to help you? Virgil, were you actually mugged or did you receive your injuries from the bank? Also, why was I not told?!” Logan shouts.

“I actually have powers. My injuries were from Roman before he found out I am Anxiety. He saw my keys, assumed I was hurt by Anxiety, and attacked me. We didn’t tell anyone but Joan. Patton somehow found out, and I honestly thought he had told you,” Virgil replies.

Guilt tears through me. “I’m sorry for hurting you, my love.”

“No, Princey. You didn’t know. It’s kinda cute you defended my honor,” Virgil replies kindly.

“Virgil, you have three cracked ribs and your bruise is still yet to fade!” Logan yells.

“Logan, it’s fine,” Virgil snaps. “He thought Anxiety me hurt Virgil me and got immediately protective. I don’t blame him.”

“You should,” I mutter.

“I will smother you with love if you keep talking like that,” Virgil warns.

“I’m rubbing off on ya, kiddo!” Patton squeals.

Virgil lets out a small laugh and the tense atmosphere dissolves. And if I hold Virgil closer just to feel him against me, he doesn’t mind.

**Author's Note:**

> Whatcha'll think? I enjoyed this so I hope you do too. Comments and kudos would be very much welcome, thanks! Please let me know if I should add a second chapter with the Party.


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